"It just happened..."How many times have you or someone you know abbreviated an account of a social, amorous or sexual interaction with something like the phrase, "it just happened"? This is a common social convention, whether rooted in a desire to be brief, respectful of private matters, or to omit potentially embarrassing or otherwise stressful details. Researchers have been interested in social norms and how students' perceptions of what is "normal" or "desirable" among their peers influences their own beliefs and behaviors, especially those involving physical or emotional risk. In the case of intimate affectionate and sexual interactions, repeatedly hearing vague descriptions like "it just happened" entrenches a gap in understanding how peers maneuver through sometimes complicated and potentially dangerous experiences behind closed doors. How are we to plan for, and learn clear communication if we have no idea how others operate within their own relationships and experiences? In order to build capacity for agency and consent, we need more than policies...we need to know how real people communicate about consent behind closed doors. Our diverse student participants generously shared their Consent Stories™ so others can learn new ways to navigate consent communication.
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